A man shouldn't intentionally try to only accomplish a partial biyah so that she doesn't become forbidden to him. Although Mateh Ephraim 602:5 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 130:4 write that since they are days of judgment one should avoid getting married then, Rav Dovid Tzvi Hoffman (Melamed Lehoil EH Siman 1) argues that the merit of getting married could help gain a favorable judgment. In fact, Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach’s wedding took place on Friday of Purim Meshulash, 5690 (1930) so as not to conflict with the yeshivah learning schedule (Rabbi Hanoch Teller, And from Jerusalem His Word: Stories and Insights of Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l pg. A page that appears 100% complete might actually be missing critical Jewish-law or medical information. He adds that even those who are strict wouldn't be strict if they're not even sure if they had haarah. Lastly, the mishna concludes, if she already had her period she is only tahor one night. There was once a terrible practice for the couple to delay a few days after the wedding to have their first biyah, this is forbidden for several reasons. If this were the only relevant principle, she could immerse as soon as she has completed the taharah process. If at the second, third, or later time she sees blood she is tameh as a niddah, even if it is hymenal blood. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 510 writes that finding a ketem on a sheet immediately after tashmish if she had biya sheniya. However, if on the second time she finds nothing she is tahora. Therefore, doing a careful, gentle bedikah generally will NOT break the hymen. If one has never used a tampon, it is a good idea to practice doing bedikot a cycle or two PRIOR to the ones that will count for the wedding. Badei Hashulchan 193:1 explains the Rosh as saying that since the hymen of an adult woman might have dried up if she still sees blood it might not be dam betulim. Dvar Halacha 3:17 agrees. Rashi explains that Rav and Shmuel were discussing even a woman who didn’t have her period yet. She performs a hefsek taharah, counts seven blood-free days, and immerses in […] Rav Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 502 is lenient as long as there wasn’t a complete biyah with the entire ever inside. Beitza 36b, S”A OC 339:4 and 524:1, and EH 64:5, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:8) write that one cannot get married on Shabbat or Yom Tov since a wedding involves a legal transaction that cannot be contracted on those days. Women getting married for the first time are sometimes concerned about doing bedikot.
However, all other women have the same halacha based on the minhag either from the Yerushalmi or the geonim. Rabbi Yosef Dov Soloveitchik felt that weddings should not be held on fast days (Nefesh HaRav, p. 196). Rather it is because we treat all women the same as a mature woman who already saw her period. The Gemara 65b records the opinion of Rav and Shmuel who hold like the opinion who says that a woman is only tahor for the first biyah and afterwards the husband must abstain from his wife. Shulchan Aruch YD 179:2 and Rama EH 64:3 mention that the practice was to get married during the first half of the month. If the couple didn’t complete the biyah and she didn’t find any blood, they must consult a rabbi. See the Sidrei Tahara 193:3 who deals with this at length but isn’t satisfied by any answer. This is codified in Rambam Hilchot Yom Tov 7:16, Shulchan Aruch OC 546:1 and EH 64:6, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:4). Badei Hashulchan 193:19 advances several reasons why one could be lenient if they didn't find blood, she didn't feel pain, and they don't know if there was a complete biyah. Users of Internet filtering services: This site discusses sensitive subjects that some services filter without visual indication. Rambam Hilchot Ishut 10:14 based on Ketubot 5a forbids weddings on Friday or Sunday because this may lead to chilul shabbat.
umistabra), and Raavad (Isurei Biyah 5:24) agree and explain that the halacha for all women is that only the first biyah is muter. After the first biyah if a woman sees blood, even if it is hymenal blood, the halacha considers her to be tameh like every other niddah as a concern for regular niddah niddah. If a doctor surgically removed the hymen, according to some poskim she is tameh and needs shiva nekiyim, while others are lenient that she is tahora. If they are both unsure if they had a complete biyah and they didn't find blood if she didn't feel pain she is tahora. Lastly, the entire tumah of dam betulim is rabbinic and in a case of doubt we can apply the rule of safek derabbanan lkula. The Jeanie Schottenstein Center Additionally it may cause one to write. velo, he adds that it sounds like the other poskim that don't mention this requirement disagree with the Cheker Halacha. Aruch Hashulchan 26:14 states that if a wedding is performed on those days, it is valid. Shu”t Yechave Daat 1:48 agrees. Thus, according to some halachic opinions, a bride who immerses earlier than the night before the wedding needs to do a bedikah on each intervening day to assure that bleeding has not occurred. Rav Moshe Feinstein OC 168 says it’s asur to get married during the day of the fast, but one can get married the night before. The Wedding Night Nightmare by Anonymous. There is, however, an additional principle that affects the timing of her immersion. He adds that his father, Chacham Ovadia Yosef, worked hard as chief rabbi of Tel Aviv to stop these weddings. Together with all the planning and preparations for the wedding, both members of the couple should set aside time to learn the important and complex laws of niddah, which will now become relevant to them. See also the Sefer Eshkol (cited by Taharat Habayit p. 498) who suggests that the reason for dam betulim is because of a concern out of an excitement of the first biyah she might see blood like dam chimud. If there was blood after the first biyah, even if it was incomplete, and she was tameh, then after the second biyah if there's no blood she's tahora. My tevilah night falls out this Thursday. Tosafot (Ketubot 7a d”h Vehilchita) says that in practice there is no concern about Shabbat desecration with regard to a Friday wedding, and Rif, Rosh, and Tur all concur (EH 64; Beit Yosef EH 64). The advice is intended to offer a basis for individuals to discuss their medical condition with their health care provider but not individual advice.
tinoket explains that we assume that the blood was hymenal blood (dam betulim) she is tahora. Badei Hashulchan 193:2 citing Minchat Yitzchak 4:58 is strict while Igrot Moshe YD 87 is lenient. Even though the Hagahot Maimoniyot 11:1 quotes the Raavad as being lenient if she doesn’t find any blood, he also cites Rashi, Roke’ach, and Ramban as being strict. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 510 is lenient on a ketem on a colored sheet if it is found after the second biyah unless it is found immediately after the biyah in which case he is strict since there is a possibility that there was a hargasha. Sdei Chemed Maarechet Chatan Vikallah Siman 23 writes that he got married during Elul and many of the gedolim were present. The Night of the Wedding. Therefore, he concludes that you certainly should not push off your wedding for this, especially if you are over 20 years old. However, the Bet Yosef 193:1 explains that the Rambam and Rif understood Rav and Shmuel as only referring to a woman who already saw her period, whether she was a naarah or a bogeret. I participated in choir, drama, chesed programs, and more. After the first biyah if a woman sees blood, even if it is hymenal blood, the halacha considers her to be tameh like every other niddah as a concern for regular niddah niddah. Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:5). ↑ The Shulchan Aruch OC 560:2 and EH 65:3 writes that there is a minhag to place ashes on the forehead of the chatan to actively demonstrate how we remember the destruction of the Bet Hamikdash even as we rejoice at a wedding. Together with all the planning and preparations for the wedding, both members of the couple should set aside time to learn the important and complex laws of niddah, which will now become relevant to them. This page was last edited on 19 August 2019, at 03:28. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 204 quotes the opinions of what is meyad. For a woman after the first biyah as long as she didn’t have her regular period the man can sit on her bed when she isn’t around. However, the Lechem Vsimla 193:1 points out that none of the poskim say that there’s a concern of dam betulim for a woman who was already married. One is immersion to exit the niddah status. However, he adds that there are those who are lenient and that this is the common practice. As the wedding approaches, the bride puts these laws into practice. Badei Hashulchan 193:16 quotes the Chachmat Adam who says that even if the man didn't have shichvat zera come out she is nonetheless tameh since the rabbis made the woman tameh after the first biyah as a general rule. If after the second biyah there is blood on a colored sheet some poskim are lenient and some are strict. Shulchan Aruch 64:3 quotes that some say that you cannot get married on Friday or Sunday because you may come to chilul Shabbat. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 498 explains that the Rosh really to some degree accept the reason of dam niddah getting mixed into the dam betulim. One does not have to be careful to get married at the beginning of the month.
After the first biyah she is tameh as a regular niddah with all of the regular restrictions and need for a hefsek tahara, bedikot, and tevilah. However, in the Biurim s.v. He’s machmir for the Sidrei Tahara in combination of the Tzemech Tzedek who says that if she has pain it might be dam betulim. See the Rosh (Niddah 10:1) who writes that the reason for the stringency isn’t because of a concern of dam niddah because we could have attributed it to a wound. It is merely meant as a siman beracha. However, Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Halichot Shlomo 2: pg. Shulchan Aruch OC 546:1, Mishna Brura 546:2, Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot 1:2:4). The Rashba (responsa 7:161) writes that even though hymenal blood is blood from a wound since it is only a one time stringency we're strict even about blood from a wound. This is quoted by the Rosh Niddah 10:1, Rashba (Torat Habayit 5b), and Maggid Mishna 10:7.
36). Two halachic principles must be considered when planning the mikveh immersion prior to a wedding. https://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=The_Night_of_the_Wedding&oldid=24054. Shulchan Aruch 696:8, HaNisuin Kihilchatam 5:16. Two, one of the regular harchakot is that the man may not sit on the woman’s bed even when she is not around. Just like everyone else, or so I thought. In fact, Rav Hershel Schachter (Mipninei Harav pg. The practice of taking a honeymoon immediately after the wedding isn't a proper practice because immediately after the wedding the woman is a niddah and it'll be hard to keep all of the laws of niddah. Additionally, the Rav Hai Goan (Shaarei Teshuva 168) writes that the dam betulim causes dam niddah to come out as well. ↑ Chida in Birkei Yosef 22:9 and Shaar Yosef 3. A woman who finds blood on the bedikah cloth before her wedding, and suspects that the hymen may have been broken or stretched, should ask a halachic question. Moed Kattan 8b says אין מערבין שמחה בשמחה.
This is the approved revision of this page, as well as being the most recent. He concludes it is between 15 seconds and 3 minutes.
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